Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just pynch a tree in the face
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time