i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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