i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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