I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He better not be in your backpack
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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