I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Someone signed my nipple.
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