I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
