I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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