My Higher Power is John Stamos
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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