this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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