even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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