Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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