I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she smelled like a LAN party
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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