I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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