my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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