id be glad to
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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