white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
