No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
