I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize