you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
