I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
