sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
