mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The Olympian is in my bed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
