Kiss
Puke
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize