I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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