they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would ride that face into the sunset
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
