I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
