SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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