does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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