you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
