Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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