True but thats because hes a fetus.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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