Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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