btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize