this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
