I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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