i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
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Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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