Tell her she can't have a vagina
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
