they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize