oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
