So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
