If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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