is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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