Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
