you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
