He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think my moral compass just broke
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