she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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