im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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