Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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