Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
