her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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