direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
