he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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