I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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