You're so nebulous sometimes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
