I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
only if we run a train.
done.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
