If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
