apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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