no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
